let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
