This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she smelled like a LAN party
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
