can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize