If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
