no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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