im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
