that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
