I looked at my own cervix.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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