Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
it hurts more in the daytime
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
