You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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