yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
