even my farts smell like vagina
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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