You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
