The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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