It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
