atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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