big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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