Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
