I feel great
I just peed on a car
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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