she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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