He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
