Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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