I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
