wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
