why didn't you poke me back
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
