he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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