That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
