if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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