she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
