once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
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