I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
