She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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