Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
