could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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