I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
