hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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