i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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