I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
barbara walters just said penis...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
