i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
