Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
