since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
