singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
