Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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