i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He shit in the fireplace
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
