if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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