i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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