it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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