Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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