I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My sheets look like a crime scene.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
