One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
