Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
