Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
